thimble island

2003-06-09 - 4:17 p.m.

last night was my last night at work. i tried to make it special by being extra nice to customers, upsizing drinks for free, that sort of thing. but after a while that sort of thinking went down the tubes. that place fuckin' gets to me. well, it used to. of course, if i were still going to live around here i couldn't really hang out at the store like i did back in the day. but that's a moot point. and this new city doesn't even have a bookstore of the same name. yee haw.

after work i went out to the british bar with a bunch of coworkers. it was a good turn out. i was touched. i got to talk to scott on his x-boy's cellphone, and that was good, too. he's in texas now. i think i'll ask him to send me a copy of the poem i wrote in his book about silos in the water. i recall liking it. or maybe i won't. it's unusual for me to produce art and just let it out into the world. that's why i could never be a canvas artist: i can't let go of my work. but print, oh, you can produce mass copies of words. as evidenced here.

who all was there? hmm, well, jacque and his girlfriend (sandy, i think), charles, jack, kathryn and her boy toy, natalie and homer, and of course rob, who brought shane, scott's aforementioned x-boy. there was an odd dynamic there. natalie claimed that rob and shane were bound to hook up, but shane kept talking about going to texas to bring scott back because they still care deeply about each other. but rob and shane were having very deep discussion together. i always wondered if there wasn't something between rob and scott. i know that scott sucked rob's toes. but scott sucked my toes, too, so who knows. rob did give me a parting hug then squeezed my ass, saying that now i couldn't sue him for work-related sexual harassment. he's a mystery, that rob.

so of course that led to dreams of lying in bed with rob, playing around, having heightened sexual tension but nothing ever actually happening. which is always the way with rob. as soon as i woke up my first thought was, 'that's rob: all killer, no filler.'

the very picture of sexual frustration, that. never mess around with a sexually ambiguous leo. all you get is blue balls, or the female equivalent therein.

now everyone wants to hang out. i'm wondering how i'm every going to fit in all the time i need to slack off, plus actually getting shit together to move, plus odds and ends like doctors' appointments and getting new glasses, plus hanging out with all the cool people, plus bonding with the fam. it's a bit overwhelming. i need time management, that's all. which is easier to say than do. especially for me.

the floodgates are open.

lane's coming 'round this weekend for gothy goodness, then special k's coming 'round the next weekend for some summer solstice fun. i think that perhaps if i focus on getting shit taken care of during the week then i can play on the weekends.

oh my GOD there's so much shit to go through. one at a time, i know, just focus on one thing at a time. it's a good thing rikki's around to kick my ass or else i'd procrastinate until the cows come home and then some. she always seems to magically call me out of the blue whenever i'm slacking off. she's wily like that.

in other news, last wednesday i got my wisdom teeth out. now that was an interesting experience. i went in my pjs and leopard print houseshoes. the doctor kept asking me questions while he had his thumb in my mouth, stretching out my tight cheek. how he expected me to answer is beyond me. dentists are funny people. i guess they must get used to garbled conversations. so they put this thing over my nose, which was 'the gas,' which i'd never had before. i remember that suddenly it all seemed so goddamn funny, this dentist standing over me, me being there, that my eyes teared up from trying to keep from laughing. he put in the i.v., saying that that would probably be the last thing i'd feel. and by god he was right.

then he lowered the chair, and i recall that it felt like i kept being lowered, just gently floating downwards, until i was literally in my mouth, but it was sort of technicolour fluorescent yellow. it was like i was on a ride, and it started in the back tooth on the bottom right side, and slowly the ride just smoothly moved from tooth to tooth on the bottom row of my mouth, until it was over on the back tooth on the bottom left. this all happened in the span of about a minute. then there was a nurse telling me to wake up. laura and dad came in, and the first thing i asked was 'where's my teeth?' of course i had a mouthful of gauze, so it was more like 'wah ma tahf?' but laura still got the picture. she handed me a sealed plastic bag with my wisdom teeth in it, as i'd specifically requested to keep them. i was fascinated, then when laura tried to take them from me i slipped them down my pants. i was trying to be funny, but apparently they just thought that i was stoned out of my mind.

she managed to get the teeth back from me (though that part i don't remember) and i bolted for the car. they told me to take it easy, but all i wanted was to get home and go back to sleep. which was exactly what i did.

it's kinda weird, not having those teeth. i was sort of used to them. but i'll always keep them near. they just won't be in my mouth.

so, i'm going to go away again now. and, yeah.