chastity and war

2003-11-06 - 11:54 a.m.

have you ever hated your roommate? and i don't mean hate like 'she left her dishes in the sink for a week again' hate, but hate like 'she's a self-righteous bitch and no one can talk to her because she's convinced in her tiny puny little mind that she's always right. and she left her dishes in the sink for a week. again.'

i live with rikki. i loathe rikki.

you can always tell when i really hate someone because i start talking smack about her or him and i don't care if that person hears me. if i only partially hate someone i still care enough about her or his feelings to not let said person overhear when i talk smack about said person. however, i am now at that point where i don't care. i hope she hears me talking smack about her. she's got a heart of stone, so it won't affect her in the slightest.

p.s. in case you couldn't tell, this is going to be a good ol' fashioned rant. on a public internet diary. why on the internet? oh, i don't know. maybe it's because in a strange way i feel more free to write anything i want to online, because then you have to take the time to find the site and read it, as opposed to simply leaving a paper journal lying around, ripe for the snooping. or maybe part of me hopes that she'll google her own name (she's vain like that) and find this site. then she'll know without a doubt that i think she's a revolting bitch. and the three people or so who read my diary will also know.

to begin with, she's a negative fucker. yes, i tend to be a happy, mostly optimistic hippy type, full of hope and enthusiasm (unless i'm in the depression part of my manic-depression stages) but guess what? i like that about myself. so she can take all her negativity and shove it up her ass. it's like she enjoys saying little cutting things to try to make me feel bad. then if i bring it up to her, she blows it off like 'oh, i didn't know.' and she never apologizes. ohhhhh no, that's beneath her. because she believes in her own deluded way that she's always right. she told me exactly that after we moved in. of course, i wish i'd known that before we moved in together, but she had to wait until she had me trapped by the lease to unleash her humongous inner shitwad. and it stinks, lemme tell ya.

she can't do math. when i paid the phone bill and asked her for half, she gave me $25. the bill was $59.16. as in, a few cents away from $60. cents, mere cents, and the dumbass rounds it off to $25, which, for the record, is half of $50, not $60. at least living with her makes me feel like a math genius, because compared to her, just about anyone who can put 2 + 2 together is just that, a genius.

she can't tally time on a calendar. when i told her today that i wouldn't be able to take her to work anymore, she said that i owed her $30, since she'd paid me $60 to take her for the month. i've been taking her to work from at the very least october 13 until november 7 (tomorrow will be the last day). she tallies that as two weeks. okay, not a full month, but certainly not two weeks. a few days shy of a month, if anything.

she can't read a map. this wouldn't be nearly so annoying except for the fact that she doesn't drive. at all. no car, no license, not even a learner's permit. and she's 22. okay, not having a car, i can understand, those are expensive. but not even learning to drive? that's just plain lazy. and useless. she is useless. a useless human being, completely dependent on everyone around her, and still believing that the world owes her a living. she moved out of her mom's house, so now she thinks she's all independent. bitch can't even get to the grocery store by herself! so she expects me to haul her ass around, and she's the one from here, not me, yet she doesn't know shit from applebutter about where things are in this city, and she can't even read a simple map. so she's useless. a lump. she adds nothing to anyone's life, she only takes away. and in her mind, that's how it's supposed to be.

well i got news for the bitch. as of today, that shit stops. she thinks she's so independent, well fine, i'll let her try being independent. good luck riding the bus every day to work, hah!!! and i sure hope your mommy loves you enough to haul your ass to the grocery store, because i don't.

allow me to clarify one more piece of this situation, if you will. when i take her somewhere, she never asks. she just kind of tells me that she needs to go, then acts like it's part of my agenda to haul her around. no thank you, no offer for gas money (except for taking her to work. two weeks, hah!) no nothing. she's an ungrateful shitwad.

good luck on that cold bus every morning, shitwad! have fun calling your mom up every day and asking her to take you places! because i just officially resigned my position as caretaker of the useless lump that is you.

and, she expects to be married in a year. no boyfriend at present or anything, but she's said she expects to be married before she turns 23. good fuckin' luck. i can't imagine anyone actually taking her, but if he did, i pity that poor bastard. don't forget the pre-nup!

i'm not a bad person. lump just brings out the worst in me. i've been counting down the days of our lease like a prison sentence. tick tock, tick tock. no more. i'm going to enjoy myself, goddamnit, no matter what it takes. something good will come of this. it must.